There are some privileged enough to know that I have an intense fear of choking. This stems from several terrible experiences as a kid and my fear has not subsided in the slightest. With this knowledge, imagine two separate choking experiences within the past month at my house and at WinCo. So what actually encouraged this post was a "feeling" of choking I had about five minutes ago. I literally thought I was a dead for sure and all my roommates were gone at the moment. Then about two weeks ago, while I was with Matt and Michael for our monthly WinCo shopping day I was sampling some meat cuts and apparently one piece went down the wrong pipe. It wasn't until a few moments after the initial swallow, but soon after I found myself running around the store looking for my roommates to help me. In the commotion, the meat went down and out of embarrassment these details were never told to my either Michael or Matt. I was reminded of how crippling my fear is, yet in the moment I will do anything to escape my perceived inevitable demise.
This summer, I looked death in the face while on my surfboard. In this case, death looked like sharp coral and the overpowering current of the ocean. This all happened at our annual staff leadership retreat at Newport Beach, OR. So upon arriving, three of us guys immediately ran to get into the waves. I know we would like to say that we were experienced Oregon surfers but this would not be true. After about ten minutes of shredding, one of the guys (Cory) yelled at Walt and I to start swimming away from the rocks. I definitely heard the urgency and figured I would do it after a few more rides. I soon found myself being pulled into the rocks like a tractor beam, which I later found out was a ripe tide. Luckily, as I struggled to paddle away from the rocks, my friend Walt was by my-side. Without saying it, we were in this together.
After fighting the waves for about ten minutes, our arms were shot and we had no other choice but to try to get up on the rocks. We knew the rocks were sharp but figured we could just jump up as we got closer. As we approached, the intensity of the waves picked up and we found ourselves being slammed into the rocks. The tide would subside for a brief second, giving us a chance to release ourselves from the leash and then it would come crashing back in and slam us. Over and over, water rushing around us, fighting off swallowing water and hitting our heads on the tough coral. At this point, Walt had drifted to the front of the rock formation and was out of sight. I began to lose my composure as I entertained the thought of his death. Moments later I saw him ascend to the top of the rock formation and I immediately was also shot to the top of the rocks. Cut and tattered, we embraced and yelled shouts of joy to God for saving us. It turned out that two other surfers were also beached and we helped them reach the top of the rocks. However, we soon found that we were stuck with no way out. The rock around us was sandstone that was unclimbable and the water around us was shallow and filled with sharp coral.
A gathering of people soon made there way to the nearby lookout to see what was happening. Communication was limited to hand signals and body signs, as the water was pounding on the rocks around us. The one sign that stuck out though was when our college pastor made a giant circle around above his head, which signaled that the helicopter was in route.
These experienced of death reminded me of several things. First, it showed me the intensity I posses when death lies in wait. This challenged me as I question why I fail to understand that so many around me are walking in death. Second, it showed me how small and feeble I am and gave me a tangible reminder that I cannot do it alone. Hence, the power of Christ. Lastly, it refocused my attention on the joys and blessings of life. There was nothing that compared to being able to hug those closet to me when I exited the helicopter or hugging my roommates when the meat finally went down to my stomach. God is good all the time, even in the times when I think He is not.
2 Peter 1:2-4
Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
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